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02 November 2005

Do As We Say, Not As We Do or Dirrty Sexxx Conservative Style

I'm sorry, there must be a mix up. You want me to fix up lyrics while the President gets his dick sucked? - Eminem

A brief disclaimer: I'm about to do a bit of generalising here, so bear with me. I understand the limitations of labels and stereotyping, but we all do it every day because, realistically, none of us would get very much done if we didn't. Obviously this isn't the first time I've made generalisations here, but I like to bring this up from time to time, even though this is one of those things that probably should go without saying. But I've said it anyway, so off we go.

There is a noticeable stand amongst conservatives against sexuality and the human body. The workings of this arrangement are complex, but a big part of it seems to boil down to what are often called traditional values. That means, among other things, that divorce is bad, sex before marriage is bad, anal sex is bad, homosexuality is bad and anything kinkier than the female being on top is bad. The more conservative you get, the tighter the boundaries are. My wife, for example, has a friend whose parents didn't even know what oral sex was until a famous legal trial a few years ago (and they're Democrats--see what I mean about generalising?).

We see the results of this every day. Whether it be the outcry over Janet Jackson's exposed nipple, the battle to prevent homosexuals from marrying each other, or a Kansas child-abuse reporting statute that technically makes it illegal for a 17-year old to make out with a 16-year old, those to the Right want to put heavy restrictions on most anything that has anything to do with carnal relations (a tremendous irony given that conservatives are supposed to be against big government).

The problem is that, for all this preaching, there isn't nearly as much practicing going on. Case in point?

A few years ago there was a sex scandal that you might recall a little something about. Details are sketchy, given that the media refused to go near something so tabloid and sensational, but, suffice it to say, the hoopla involved a sitting U.S. President, an intern, cigars, oral sex and a stained dress.

Many were outraged that this sort of behaviour could come from, of all people, a President. An witch hunt investigation ensued. Ultimately this President went on to obstruct justice and commit perjury (why do those charges sound so familiar right now?), much to the glee of many on the Right side of the political spectrum.

All this would eventually prove to be rather interesting, as Congressmen Newt Gingrich, Bob Livingston and Bob Barr, three of the Republicans who were calling for the President's head, were ultimately found guilty of adultery as well.

This is an all too common occurrence for the Right. We'll set aside Kitty Kelley's allegations about the elder George Bush, the intriguing rumors that James Dobson's son Ryan's recent marriage was his second, and even the not so distant allegations of Bill O' Reilly's sexual harassment. Instead we'll go with something a little more concrete.

I'm speaking of the excerpts recently published by The New Yorker of Scooter Libby's 1996 novel The Apprentice. Libby's novel features depictions of pedophilia, incest and bestiality usually reserved for John Irving novels.

Now don't get me wrong. There's plenty of the awkwardly conventional:

He could feel her heart beneath his hands. He moved his hands slowly lower still and she arched her back to help him and her lower leg came against his. He held her breasts in his hands. Oddly, he thought, the lower one might be larger. . . . One of her breasts now hung loosely in his hand near his face and he knew not how best to touch her.
But not to worry, bestiality fans. There's something for you, too:
At age ten the madam put the child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls so the girls would be frigid and not fall in love with their patrons. They fed her through the bars and aroused the bear with a stick when it seemed to lose interest.
He asked if they should fuck the deer.
The answer, as The New Yorker answers, is yes.

Of course, Libby is hardly the only conservative to write sexy novel. There's also Sisters, a little known work by Lynne Cheney. Mind you, Cheney's novel isn't nearly as racy as Libby's. But, according to information archivist Russ Kick's The Disinformation Book of Lists, there is sex, rape, lesbianism, with some animal cruelty, feminist thought and anti-corporate messages thrown in for good measure.

But that's OK. If you want to write about sex, write about sex. There's plenty of it in the Bible, after all.

However, if you're going to claim the moral high ground, you ought to at least make sure you've got it. Given this list of Republicans allegedly caught with their pants down (mostly among children mind you), though, I think that's up for debate:

• Republican County Constable Larry Dale Floyd was arrested on suspicion of soliciting sex with an 8-year old girl.

• Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.

• Republican Party leader Bobby Stumbo was arrested for having sex with a 5-year old boy.

• Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.

• Republican Mayor John Gosek was arrested on charges of soliciting sex from two 15-year old girls.

• Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.

• Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17.

• Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth (the guy who tried to take Terry Schiavo a glass of water) is a convicted child rapist in Florida.

• Republican zoning supervisor, Boy Scout leader and Lutheran church president Dennis L. Rader pleaded guilty to performing a sexual act on an 11-year old girl he murdered.

• Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor.

• Republican United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 16-year old black girl which produced a child.

• Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile.

• Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.

• Republican advertising consultant Carey Lee Cramer was charged with molesting his 9-year old step-daughter after including her in an anti-Gore television commercial.

• Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

• Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos.

• Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.

• Republican activist Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child.

• Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page.

• Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.

• Republican Judge Ronald C. Kline was placed under house arrest for child molestation and possession of child pornography.

• Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.

• Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.
Keep in mind, I'm not suggesting that liberals or Democrats are any better at keeping their genitals to themselves. I'm sure anyone with a few minutes can find a similar list of leftists. Democratic Congressman Gerry Studds, for instance, like Congressman Dan Crane, was found guilty by the House Ethics Committee of having sex with a female minor while working as a congressional page. This isn't about Democrats and liberals being innocent of sexual crimes.

What this is about is the foolish idea that the Left is somehow ruining the family and that the Right is somehow the champion of moral values. If this list is anything to go by, it appears that many on the Right value something else entirely.

Comments on "Do As We Say, Not As We Do or Dirrty Sexxx Conservative Style"


Anonymous trevor said ... (11/03/2005 01:33:00 PM) : 

Sorry. This is way off-topic, but on the topic at my site. I am assuming that you are familiar with Daniel Quinn’s "Ishmael" (and subsequent books?) because you chose to comment briefly on my site (somewhat) about it. Basically, I just want to solicit more comment(s) from you on today’s post at my site. If you have time, I would appreciate any thoughts from you, as a comment on my site, as a post on yours, or even as an email to me. (You can email me from my Xanga. There is a link on the left side.) Thanks.

Oh. And just to prove I did read yours…this may be a little too nitpicky given the broad scope of your research. But I think that if whatever Pee-Wee Herman got caught doing in public a few years back was illegal, then charges should have been brought against Janet and J.T. simply because it was exposure in public. Isn’t that at least a misdemeanor? There’s no way it was on accident. I wasn’t personally offended, but it’s just annoying that they think they can get away with anything and it’s so funny to them.


Anonymous Gwen Stefani said ... (11/03/2005 05:58:00 PM) : 

this was interesting.


Blogger Marcguyver said ... (11/03/2005 06:44:00 PM) : 

What IS ruining the family, this country, the whole darn world for that matter is SIN, plain and simple. You're right, it's not the Left or the Right, it's sin.

I do think though that just because I have sinned, say committed adultery, it doesn't mean that I don't have a right to state that adultery is wrong. It does come off as quite hypocritical though if all I'm doing is finger pointing and name calling while all the while continuing the same behavior that I supposedly abhor. Paul speaks of this quite eloquently in Romans 2:17-24.

I also think that to generalize about "Conservatives" in a manner to say, "...it appears that many on the Right value something else entirely." is just as absurd for me to say that many on the Left also value something else. Mankind is mankind, we all sin, and we are all full of sin (thus our continued need for a Savior) but just because some of the apples are rotten it doesn't mean we throw out the whole bushel.

Lastly, speaking for myself. I have no problem with calling wrong behavior, "wrong behavior", even if I myself have practiced in the behavior as well. What we need is for all to take more of a stand on what is 'right' and what is 'wrong'. Our society needs a reminder of the benefit of absolutes and a standard of righteousness.

I commend you on your extensive research that you posted. Those criminals are disgusting, perverse, wretched, and lower than cow dung. As a Law Enforcement Officer it helps remind me why I put on the badge every shift; I like fighting 'pukes' like that.


Anonymous Gwen said ... (11/03/2005 09:31:00 PM) : 

thanks marcguyver those were good thoughts.


Blogger Nicole said ... (11/04/2005 01:44:00 AM) : 

OOhh, Law Enforcement Officers have one of the highest rates of antisocial personality disorder. Factoid of the day!


Blogger jasdye said ... (11/04/2005 04:51:00 PM) : 

on a completely different note,
are you british, wj?

i don't think anybody'd disagree with you, that sin is sin, but we should be careful of our language and esp. political rhetoric. politicians, in general, look for votes. the reasoning goes (and this is proven every other year) that the more sensational you are, and the more knee-jerk you are, the more attention you get.

and who doesn't want to think of their environment (their country) as being safe and secure from all alarm?

and although i may disagree w/ wj's politics or political rhetoric (but, in america, really who agrees with who?) what he was saying in that last line is that many in the political right value something not quite as virtuous as their language and legal battles might attest to.
which is true.


Anonymous Steph said ... (11/04/2005 04:57:00 PM) : 

i'm assuming you know that trevor is talking about Quinn's books? do you have Ishmael?


Blogger Marcguyver said ... (11/04/2005 06:29:00 PM) : 

Gwen, I appreciate that, thank you.

Nicole, I'd like to see your source for that. I myself am highly involved in local schools, my church, local politics, numerous friendships and other families, etc.

Jasdye, I agree that many politicians on both sides of the isle do in fact wax hypocrytical as they seem to often participate in the very behavior that they strongly admonish others for participating in; that is why I said, "You're right, it's not the Left or the Right, it's sin. It does come off as quite hypocritical though if all I'm doing is finger pointing and name calling while all the while continuing the same behavior that I supposedly abhor. What we need is for all to take more of a stand on what is 'right' and what is 'wrong'. Our society needs a reminder of the benefit of absolutes and a standard of righteousness."


Blogger Nicole said ... (11/04/2005 07:18:00 PM) : 

I'll have to find my source. I'm not saying any particular officer of the law is antisocial, it's just a career that tends to attract antisocial types because of the power and law aspect.


Blogger Nicole said ... (11/04/2005 07:21:00 PM) : 

Psychopathic individuals in this study were drawn to independent, hands-on work with things or ideas, rather than working with a group of people, and preferably involving risky or exciting situations such as law enforcement or military careers. They enjoy working with finances and earning wealth, collecting power and prestige. On the other hand, psychopathic people are not interested in jobs that require them to work cooperatively with or for others in careers that are subjectively boring, or are regarded as stereotypically feminine or female dominated, like teaching or nursing. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2005 APA, all rights reserved)

Psychopathy and career interest in a noncriminal population. Henley, Aimee Gillison; Dissertation Abstracts International: Section B: The Sciences and Engineering, Vol 62(12-B), 2002. pp. 5965.


Blogger Nicole said ... (11/04/2005 07:27:00 PM) : 

Of 4,249 candidates applying for law enforcement officer positions in a New York county over a 10-yr period, 196 18-47 yr old candidates required psychiatric evaluation as part of the selection process. The major diagnostic categories included alcohol or drug abuse, serious antisocial trends, schizophrenia or major affective illness, borderline or neurotic disorder, and obesity. The importance of screening prospective law enforcement officers is discussed. (15 ref) (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2005 APA, all rights reserved)

Psychiatric examination of law enforcement officer candidates over a 10-year period. Shapiro, Stanley; Comprehensive Psychiatry, Vol 22(3), May-Jun 1981. pp. 312-319.


Blogger Wasp Jerky said ... (11/04/2005 09:40:00 PM) : 


I'm vaguely familiar with Ishmael, mostly through your blog. Haven't read it, but I did take a jumbled stab at your very thought-provoking question.

As for Pee-Wee, he was actually alleged to have masturbated in public. That seems very different than exposing one's nipple (or genitals for that matter) in public, even purposefully.


I'm with you. I don't think either Democrats or Republicans value what they say they do. Ultimately both these political parties value power and they will do whatever it takes to keep it. We've been seeing that with this White House and Congress, and we saw it before when the Democrats had control of those branches of government. My complaint is with the rhetoric that suggests that Republicans/conservatives/Rightistsare somehow a more "moral" bunch than those who aren't among their ranks. This last election was all about moral values. Yet it seems that many who claim to have those "moral values" don't. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't call a spade a spade. But there's also an old story about a splinter and a plank.

By the way, I really appreciate you hanging out here and voicing your thoughts and concerns. I hope you'll continue to do so.


Nope, not British. But I spent less than a day in London over the summer, so that counts for something, right?

Seriously, I just like the British spellings, so that's why I use them.


Blogger jasdye said ... (11/05/2005 12:03:00 PM) : 

A friend of mine (who, btw, used to be a gang-banger before his Christian days and although quiet, could hardly be described as anti-social) was going through law enforcement training a couple years ago (He does it full time now.) and would often ask for prayer.

The prevalent attitude, he would attest, is one of almost gleeful and necessary violence.

Many of my kids are hateful of police.

This is not an indictment on the many, many fine men and women who serve in that capacity. However, just like in Christianity, the few bad ones spoil the reputation for all the others. And, unfortunately, there are a few bad and/or power-hungry cops - here in the city as well as elsewhere.

Marcguyver, I salute you for your work and service and hatred of evil. As well as a snazzy blogger name.


Blogger Marcguyver said ... (11/05/2005 05:52:00 PM) : 

Nicole, thanks for the info. By the way, all potential L.E.O.s have to take a psychological exam prior to employment as a prerequisite for hiring, just like a polygraph. I myself have taken a few over the years. I think a department would be literally stupid not to make their personnel go through them.

Mr. Jerky, you're right, there are a lot of 'Politicians' out there crying about the wood in everyone else's eyes while they're toting around small docks! And I will keep coming here; I like the dialogue and topics so far. Absolutely love passionate and vehement debate.

Jasdye, you're friend is right. Unfortunately there a few in this business that need to leave or be forced out. Sadly, I've been the catalyst here lately in my own department that has caused an internal investigation to be conducted on some of the officers. But heck, I'm not going to put up with dereliction of duty, abuse of power, and public trust being cast aside just so some 'clowns' can ruin it for the rest of us and pursue their own interests.


Blogger Dan Trabue said ... (11/08/2005 05:05:00 PM) : 

I agree with those who have said above, "sin is sin" and will be found Left and Right.

But as a Christian, what I do find irritating is the Religious Right's emphasis on sex and drug-related sins to the exclusion of greed and power-related sins.

A read-through of the Bible will found MUCH less written and less clearly written on the sexy sins (and virtually nothing on the sins of intoxication) but a smorgasbord of greed, hypocrisy and power-related passages.

It has been argued by those wiser than I that the Bible is an economics book as much as anything. From beginning to end it's Jubilee laws written to protect the poor, it's prophets condemning the rich and powerful...those who'd oppress the poor and weak, it's Jesus and Sell all you own and give to the poor and follow me and it's the Early church selling all and having all things in common, it's James blasting the rich.

Read the Bible with an eye open and you'll be surprised if it's not something you already know.

But these sins, those actions most condemned by God, that the Religious Right tends to overlook and I have to wonder: Is it ignorance or compliance on their part?


Blogger Marcguyver said ... (11/12/2005 02:05:00 PM) : 

You're absolutely right. "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our Lord is this: to visit the orphan and widow in their distress and to keep oneself unstainded by the world."

Ever since Israel demanded for Saul to be their King, I think God began a huge emphasis that has lasted throughout the scriptures on how "governments" should be fair, righteous, and just.

I've always thought that if a person is either suddenly given an extreme amount of power or money, it is the catalyst that will bring to the surface their true 'colors' if you will.

Though I do label myself typically as a 'Conservative' and have a voting record that does tend to lean on the Republican side of things, I have still been extrememly disappointed with many from that party and think that now-a-days it seems that corruption, dishonesty, and injustice, are prevelant on both sides of the aisle.


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