Screaming Memes

So Zalm tagged me in this little game. Basically I’m supposed to pick five professions from the list below and finish the sentence. And I believe I get to add professions if I choose. So I added professional wrestler. Now can you dig it? If I could be a scientist… If I could be a farmer… If I could be a musician… If I could be a doctor… If I could be a painter… If I could be a gardener… If I could be a missionary… If I could be a chef… If I could be an architect… If I could be a linguist… If I could be a psychologist… If I could be a librarian… If I could be an athlete… If I could be a lawyer… If I could be an inn-keeper… If I could be a professor… If I could be a writer… If I could be a llama-rider… If I could be a bonnie pirate… If I could be an astronaut… If I could be a world famous blogger… If I could be a justice on any one court in the world… If I could be married to any current famous political figure… If I could be a service member… If I could be a photographer… If I could be a philanthropist… If I could be a rap artist… If I could be a child actor… If I could be a secret agent… If I could be a comedian/comedienne… If I could be a priest… If I could be a radio announcer… If I could be a phlebotomist… If I could be Paris Hilton’s stylist… If I could be the CEO of Microsoft… If I could be a movie producer… If I could be a laser hair removal specialist… If I could be a dog groomer… If I could be a bicycle repairman… If I could be a Lumberjack… If I could be chauffer for Michael W. Smith… If I could be a Head Football Coach… If I could be an insurance adjuster… If I could be funeral home director… If I could be a bus driver… If I could be me… If I could be Secretary of State… If I could be an assassin… If I could be a whore… If I could be a game developer… If I could be a vampire slayer… If I could be a nerf herder… If I could be a professional wrestler… Anyways, here goes: If I could be a phlebotomist…I’d quickly learn what my profession means, so I wouldn’t have to Google it and feel ashamed. If I could be a Lumberjack…I’d cut down trees. I’d eat my lunch. I’d go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I’d go shoppin' and have buttered scones for tea. If I could be a rap artist…I wouldn’t, because Sage Francis already said it, and much better. If I could be a professional wrestler…I’d finish off opponents with my patented finishing maneuver, the dreaded genital jihad. If I could be me… I'd sing and dance (la la-la hey, la la-la hey, la la-la). OK then. So now I’m supposed to tag three people. I don’t think my wife, Meg or Liz have played yet, so get to it.