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24 October 2006

Assimilated Press

I stumbled across a new blog today, called Assimilated Press. It's basically satirical political news stories. Think The Onion back when it was funny, only not as funny.

I haven't read many of the posts on the blog yet. But many of the headlines alone are reason for stopping by. Here are some gems:

Republicans Oppose Masturbation Before Marriage
Supreme Court: Midnight Kidnappings of US Citizens Legal
Nation Stunned As Bush Tells Truth
Halliburton Given Contract to Develop Fuel From Human Remains
Bush Vetoes Recent Supreme Court Decision
Panic Spreads As Gay Sharks Attack Missing White Women
Bush Orders Closure Of American Border With Venezuela
Wal-Mart To Offer Outpatient Surgery In New Superstores
Vice President Cheney Bites The Ambassador From Liechtenstein
Mississippi River Becomes Ronald Reagan River
Cheney Spends Vacation Clubbing Baby Seals
White House OK's Use Of Torture In Public Schools
Speaker Hastert Claims He Was Molested By Bill Clinton
Neocons Prepared For Iraq War By Reading Chicken Entrails
McCain Blames Clinton For Influenza Epidemic Of 1919

Comments on "Assimilated Press"


Blogger jasdye said ... (10/24/2006 03:30:00 PM) : 

you're right. not as funny as the Onion.

or SNL.

maybe on par with "Studio 60" though.


Anonymous Alpha Beta said ... (10/24/2006 07:08:00 PM) : 

Actually, IMHO its way funnier than the Onion. Even just the titles are hilarious.


Blogger jasdye said ... (10/26/2006 07:39:00 PM) : 

please, even the mississippi river joke is a badly recycled Simpsons joke.

and worse, unlike the Onion, there's no pacing, no love of wordplay. just how straightforward and third-grade-ish does "Nation stunned as Bush Tells Truth" sound?

not that there's anything wrong with third-grade humor, if subverted correctly.

but, seriously, "White House OK's Use of Torture in Public Schools"?

i feel like Jerry in Seinfeld complaining about the dentist usurping all those cultural jokes. I'm offended 'cuz they're not funny.


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